My name is Cierra Trayner, and I am mostly starting this blog for myself. I am 20 years old and have a little girl, Ayla James who is turning one on Monday, April 10. And while she is the light of my life, being a single mom is really hard.
This post will be mainly talking about who I am and just a little about my situation. I was in my freshman year of college at Arizona State as a Chemical Engineering major when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't even know until i was 9 weeks (2 months), I thought I simply had a bad case of the stomach flu. One of my closest friends, Sarah picked me up and was with me when I took the test. When it came up positive she told me about this group she was part of called Younglives ( a subdivision of Younglife for young mommas).
She brought me to my first meeting and introduces me to other young moms and helped me a lot through a really hard time. I am not lying when I say that Younglives saved my daughters life. I am the mom I am today because of those women.
I am not going to lie, when I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't know who Aylas father was. I was in a really dark place and saw little to no value in my body. Neither of the two men were in any sort of place to be a father to Ayla. I was honest with both of them from the beginning in saying that I didn't know but I wanted to find out. After Ayla was born, I had a paternity test done which revealed a man named Seth to be her father.
When I met this man, he was a jerk. Always has been, always will be. He treated me like dirt, but most men did so I didn't see a problem. When I told him I was pregnant, he was already fighting for custody of his first daughter, but promised me that we would work things out and he would be there for the baby. I was overwhelmed with relief. He made promise after promise, lie after lie up until one day when he just stopped talking to me. He wouldn't answer phone called or respond to texts. I eventually went to his house to confront him to find out that the day he stopped talking to me was the day he moved without a forwarding address. I haven't seen him since that day at 3.5 months pregnant.
Recently I had the chance to speak with him over online messaging where he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Ayla and he didn't want to be a father to her.
I moved back home with my parents in December and worked hard to save money until Ayla was born. She was the most beautiful little newborn.
Now that I am 20, I am preparing to move out in August. I am scared and have a lot of people judging every move I make. But I've learned you have to keep moving forward. These blogs are for me to rant and probably will share too much, but maybe after getting more of a look into my life, people will understand who I am as a person, and not just judge me for my mistakes. My daughter is my life, and I am so lucky I have her.
This post will be mainly talking about who I am and just a little about my situation. I was in my freshman year of college at Arizona State as a Chemical Engineering major when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't even know until i was 9 weeks (2 months), I thought I simply had a bad case of the stomach flu. One of my closest friends, Sarah picked me up and was with me when I took the test. When it came up positive she told me about this group she was part of called Younglives ( a subdivision of Younglife for young mommas).
She brought me to my first meeting and introduces me to other young moms and helped me a lot through a really hard time. I am not lying when I say that Younglives saved my daughters life. I am the mom I am today because of those women.
I am not going to lie, when I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't know who Aylas father was. I was in a really dark place and saw little to no value in my body. Neither of the two men were in any sort of place to be a father to Ayla. I was honest with both of them from the beginning in saying that I didn't know but I wanted to find out. After Ayla was born, I had a paternity test done which revealed a man named Seth to be her father.
When I met this man, he was a jerk. Always has been, always will be. He treated me like dirt, but most men did so I didn't see a problem. When I told him I was pregnant, he was already fighting for custody of his first daughter, but promised me that we would work things out and he would be there for the baby. I was overwhelmed with relief. He made promise after promise, lie after lie up until one day when he just stopped talking to me. He wouldn't answer phone called or respond to texts. I eventually went to his house to confront him to find out that the day he stopped talking to me was the day he moved without a forwarding address. I haven't seen him since that day at 3.5 months pregnant.
Recently I had the chance to speak with him over online messaging where he made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Ayla and he didn't want to be a father to her.
I moved back home with my parents in December and worked hard to save money until Ayla was born. She was the most beautiful little newborn.
Now that I am 20, I am preparing to move out in August. I am scared and have a lot of people judging every move I make. But I've learned you have to keep moving forward. These blogs are for me to rant and probably will share too much, but maybe after getting more of a look into my life, people will understand who I am as a person, and not just judge me for my mistakes. My daughter is my life, and I am so lucky I have her.
Sweet shit love muffin
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