So, when I was in high school, I was bullied and teased a lot. I was that girl that everyone picked on. I was too fat, then too thin, then repulsive, then a whore, and so many other things. What a lot of people don't know is that I believed every word people said about me. I hated myself and kept changing to make people like me, but they would just find new names to call me.
High school is rough, for almost everyone. No one really feels like they fit in.
This post is going to be a lot more personal, and I am going to talk about something I have been hiding for years.
When I was 14, I had a friend who I was head over heels for. He lived down the street from me and we rode the bus together every day. He was absolutely gorgeous (and still is). All I wanted was for him to notice me. One day, after school, we were hanging out in the green belt by his house, sitting against a wall tossing pebbles at a tree. We were just talking about life and school and whatever, until out of no where he took his penis out and forced me to give him a blow job. He threatened to tell everyone that I was a slut and had STD's.
Being the young girl who had never done more that kiss a boy, I panicked and did as he said because I was afraid of people who teased me.
Mind you, I was 14. I couldn't fathom life outside of what others thought of me. It was a big deal at the time. After about a month, he made me have sex with him. I was mortified with myself walking home that day. I wanted to die but I was too afraid to ask for help because people might not believe me. It was my word vs his, and people will always believe the more entertaining side.
After about a year and a half of this, I had lost all respect for my body, and when people called me a whore, they weren't wrong. Almost every day, he would say, "it's just sex. It's not a big deal." And I started to believe him.
I have struggled with valuing my body ever since.
It took a lot of courage to finally tell him no when I was 16. I was dealing with a family inside my and I had decided enough was enough.
If anything like this had ever happened to you, please believe me when I say you are so beautiful and worth so much more than the way you've been treated.
Getting pregnant is what finally snapped me out of the state of mind I was in. I was 18 and scared but I knew that I needed to get my life together for my daughter.
People even now mock me for being a young mom. I have heard people say that they aren't surprised that I got pregnant so young and for a long time, it cut me so deeply. But other people's opinion of my life is now irrelevant. I work full time and do everything I can to be the best mother I can be to my baby. At first it was JUST for her, but now it's for me as well. I want to be a better person and I want to turn my self worth into what it should be because I am worth it, and so are you.
High school is rough, for almost everyone. No one really feels like they fit in.
This post is going to be a lot more personal, and I am going to talk about something I have been hiding for years.
When I was 14, I had a friend who I was head over heels for. He lived down the street from me and we rode the bus together every day. He was absolutely gorgeous (and still is). All I wanted was for him to notice me. One day, after school, we were hanging out in the green belt by his house, sitting against a wall tossing pebbles at a tree. We were just talking about life and school and whatever, until out of no where he took his penis out and forced me to give him a blow job. He threatened to tell everyone that I was a slut and had STD's.
Being the young girl who had never done more that kiss a boy, I panicked and did as he said because I was afraid of people who teased me.
Mind you, I was 14. I couldn't fathom life outside of what others thought of me. It was a big deal at the time. After about a month, he made me have sex with him. I was mortified with myself walking home that day. I wanted to die but I was too afraid to ask for help because people might not believe me. It was my word vs his, and people will always believe the more entertaining side.
After about a year and a half of this, I had lost all respect for my body, and when people called me a whore, they weren't wrong. Almost every day, he would say, "it's just sex. It's not a big deal." And I started to believe him.
I have struggled with valuing my body ever since.
It took a lot of courage to finally tell him no when I was 16. I was dealing with a family inside my and I had decided enough was enough.
If anything like this had ever happened to you, please believe me when I say you are so beautiful and worth so much more than the way you've been treated.
Getting pregnant is what finally snapped me out of the state of mind I was in. I was 18 and scared but I knew that I needed to get my life together for my daughter.
People even now mock me for being a young mom. I have heard people say that they aren't surprised that I got pregnant so young and for a long time, it cut me so deeply. But other people's opinion of my life is now irrelevant. I work full time and do everything I can to be the best mother I can be to my baby. At first it was JUST for her, but now it's for me as well. I want to be a better person and I want to turn my self worth into what it should be because I am worth it, and so are you.
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